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by pdimitar 1979 days ago
I am 40 and I started caring about career and repouation less than a year ago.

You will always have something that you don't know. Took me a loooong time to get over it. Try and short-circuit this struggle because it would otherwise never end.
1 comments
johnisgood 1979 days ago
I do not know how to. :/ I can work for clients because it is different than working for a company, but... not enough money and not stable enough, sadly.
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pdimitar 1979 days ago
I don't understand. You don't want to work for companies?
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johnisgood 1979 days ago
I would like to, but there are too many people and it gives me lots of anxiety just to even think about going for an interview, let alone working for them. :/ Just tried to say that it is much easier when there is one person I work for and talk to online and working from home, vs. working in groups or meeting lots and lots of people. I have social phobia, and I also fear that I am not good enough and I do not even try because of it, it holds me back. I even fear working in groups of strangers online. I really do not know what to do. So I suppose I have performance anxiety (I do not know if there is such a thing), and I have social phobia.

I also have anxiety about my health when I notice something out of the place, but that is a different sort of issue. I remember when outside there were construction workers and beneath me the floor moved and I almost had a panic attack because of it. At first I did not know it was caused by them, I thought something was happening to me. It got better when I realized it was just them.

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pdimitar 1978 days ago
As a start, we are currently living in the best time ever for remote work. You can apply, have interview, homework assignments etc., all from your home.

Doesn't that make it a little better?

I get what you mean with performance anxiety -- my last job kind of ended because I felt a severe impostor syndrome. But eventually it turned out it wasn't only that; I was forced into rituals and ways of work I didn't enjoy so the job couldn't possibly work. Realizing this instantly made me feel better.

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