[enkienki]

As someone who's had this when I was a teenager, I can comment on a few things about it.

Mine looked like me. It actually was me, but younger. I imagined him when I was 11 and he never really aged.

I could see him everywhere, sometimes screaming at me from the bleachers on the football field, or right in front of my face. The unique thing though is that he would always comment on what I was doing. It was almost as if I was a machine and he would guide me to where I would go. This being said, there were a lot of disagreements I had with him.

I would notice that when I got overly emotional, he would disappear. When things settled down, he'd come back and comment saying how I shouldn't have thought of/done what I had. I'd have the emotional argument with my logical second personality. We were so distinct from each other that, even looking back on it now, he felt evil.

The biggest benefit for sure was that I never felt alone. People around me were genuinely worried about how much time I spent isolated from everyone else, but it never felt that way. It always felt like I had someone, arguably more important than friends because it seemed like he kept me alive.

The worst part about it was the 'mob' mentality. Initially it didn't seem like much but I noticed that there were some things that I wouldn't have agreed with months before. My opinions would change constantly and it all depends on what he would say. Just imagine overthinking and then having a really close and trusted friend jump to even worse extremes because they feel like it would keep you safe.

Definitely bad to my overall health but I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him.

[bonoboTP]

You had actual visual and auditory hallucinations? Or you just felt a presence?

[enkienki]

Visual and auditory.

Definitely saw him and he contributes to the lack of eye contact I give other people. It's hard to look at someone 1 on 1 when you see another person taking attention away. Back to the point, it wasn't super common to see him all the time. You know how you zone out of certain things but are still able to do the tasks? It was like that when he would visually appear.

Auditory would happen a lot more frequently because I was relatively focused on what was going on. Whether it be solving a problem in school and him seeing an error I had done previously, telling me to look back at the question, or him just talking with me about something random, I could hear him. Kind of like the whole whisper in your ear thing but I primarily heard it like he was right behind me talking to my brain (inside my skull to the back of my head).

Presence wise, maybe? I only say that because I rarely flinched because of him. For example, when he first started popping up, I would actually get surprised, maybe even try moving out of the way. Eventually though, I wouldn't even bat eye. I definitely knew what he was going to do and he would definitely do things that would catch others off guard but I saw it coming. If that's the presence you're referring to, then yes.

[whereistimbo]

Sounds like alter ego created with techniques from MKULTRA project. It never ages. I (illegaly) read Fritz Springmeier's book about this. There's conspiracy theory too, about Katy Perry's alter ego that never ages that named Katheryn.

[unixhero]

Where would this be illegal to read? Why was it banned?

[whereistimbo]

Of course the pirated ones. It wasn't banned in my knowledge.

[unixhero]

Ah. Cool. Well. Information wants to be free, so there's that!

[whereistimbo]

I would add that an alter ego created by trauma in the brain would be isolated by the brain thus never ages.