[Sapph]

I feel the issue with a lot of this advice like "don't care about what other people think about you", "be yourself" is, it tries to free people from one extreme (caring too much about what other people think for example) by talking about the opposite extreme.

It is helpful to have awareness about how your behaivor and actions may affect others, depending on the situation and your relationship with them, and how they may perceive or react to it. I find the key is to have and develop values you consistently act and live by so even if someone reacts negatively or different from what you expected, you don't feel this means you did something wrong or need to change something about yourself.

[sirsinsalot]

I agree. I think many of the extremes, like "be yourself [despite all others]" comes from a lack of self confidence. Hearing what others feel about you, empathising and deciding what _you_ feel about it takes a lot of self confidence.