[leetcrew]

it seems that as a man, online dating just doesn't work well unless you're very attractive and/or good at putting together an attractive set of photos (not the same thing!).

don't let that put you off talking to new people IRL though. dating sites tend to give you an unrealistically low impression of your attractiveness. before the pandemic, I used to go out to local bars a few times a month for dinner and a drink. I was mostly focused on eating, but more often than not whoever was sitting nearby would start a conversation with me, some of them very attractive women who I'm sure would have swiped left on me without a moment's hesitation.

keep in mind, all dating failures stem from one or both of the following: unreasonable expectations and simply not talking to enough new people. both are within your power to change.

[chrisseaton]

> but more often than not whoever was sitting nearby would start a conversation with me, some of them very attractive women who I'm sure would have swiped left on me without a moment's hesitation

I don't think these are the same thing. Swiping right is expressing a positive attraction and intent to go out for a date. Having a conversation in a bar is just... having a conversation. People do that with anyone and everyone. It doesn't mean any attraction at all.