Their whole pitch is "Tinder, except women get to make the moves". Alas, it seems the most popular play for women is punting the ball back to the men's side of the field.
And what do you think the most popular opening message from men is? In my experience it’s usually some version of “hey”, “hi”, “hello” if you’re lucky. Or something slightly more creative but crass/disgusting if you’re not.
I don’t think it’s fair to characterize it as “women punting the ball back” so much as it’s just not usually worth the effort for a lot of people — no matter their gender — to think of something more original to say.
I don’t know why people complain about it though. It seems like the perfect way to really stand out in the crowd. Everyone wants to be recognized as a unique individual and when your inbox is full of “hey” all the way down then a message from someone who took the time to get to know you a bit is definitely going to be opened and replied to more often.
Women tend to write things like "be more original than saying hi" or "I don't respond to 'hi'", but when the shoe is on the other foot, they send a "hi" anyway.
Men answer like this for the same reason women do: it requires essentially no effort.
Bots are generally easy to spot. Coming up with something at least semi-relevant the person’s profile is not much harder than a “hey” for the type of person who shows enough personality on their profile to be interesting in the first place.
Your success rate will easily shoot up 5x from the baseline of “hey” by saying something even remotely interesting.
Yes, but the slightly increased effort for the woman still adds value in my experience, due to the weird asymmetries in average (western?) human behaviour.
The male user can assume that she is at least somewhat interested and he doesn't need to come up with a spammy/funny line to elicit interest.
I don’t think it’s fair to characterize it as “women punting the ball back” so much as it’s just not usually worth the effort for a lot of people — no matter their gender — to think of something more original to say.
I don’t know why people complain about it though. It seems like the perfect way to really stand out in the crowd. Everyone wants to be recognized as a unique individual and when your inbox is full of “hey” all the way down then a message from someone who took the time to get to know you a bit is definitely going to be opened and replied to more often.