[atotic]

I can relate to some of your quirks. I am now 50+, with 3 kids, and I've left most of the quirks behind.

I used to always try to please others. My dysfunctional family liked it that way. It made their life easier. That was one of the last quirks to go. It was only after being forced into being assertive to defend my kids, I've realized that it is ok to stand up for yourself. Life's been much better since, surprisingly, most people appreciate assertiveness. And being assertive is not nearly as exhausting as being nice.

It was a long journey, started with therapy 25 years ago.