[watwut]

> but that's not because she has ill will towards the child - its because she has no other way to dissipate the energy at that point

I am not sure where you was aiming at, but this sort of logic actually makes people not to intervene in clearly abusive situations. It is also sort of logic that people use to pressure abuse victim to stay in abusive relationships. It is also what makes victims stay in abusive relationship.

The fact is, parent not having ill will deep down is not what is affecting the child. The child is affected by the unfair scolding. Your example is asking for empathy for someone who made you angry (unfair mom), but does not ask empathy for child. Unfair scolding is not end of world nor is it CPS worthy verbal abuse. But the principle is the same.