I always laugh when people remark that some dancer "makes it look easy". Because it is easy when you've trained enough. And the more you train at it, the funner it gets.
I think this "making it look easy" is probably most relevant for ballet, where high level dancers still train very "basic" movements or use a lot of muscular effort to create the illusion of lightness etc.
For me any style that has decided on moves. Salsa, Swing, Ballroom. I can jump around at a club to pop/house/techno/etc... but once I have to follow specific steps with a partner I have a huge hurdle.
I tried taking salsa classes once. Was going to 4 classes a week. The instructor told me it would be a year before I'd be able to lead. Of course that was one instructor's opinion. I stopped after 4 weeks and feeling like I was making zero progress. It was not fun to feel like I was in everyone else's way not being able to keep up or not being able to transition from one move to the next. Also not really a fan of salsa.
I've taken maybe 10 swing dance classes as well but zero progress. Bad teachers maybe.
As a swing dancer / salsa dancer, the best approach I found is to stick with one dance, and practice it repeatedly ... say every weekend for a month. You need to get to the point where you're not focused on your footwork in order to be able to focus on the arms/leading.
Also, find a place where the partners swap / dance around, ideally during the lessons as well, you'll learn more and won't feel like you're boring everyone. You'll also recognize more people and possibly be more willing to ask people to dance.
I did much better when sticking to one style, getting it down, then starting the next. I found that mixing them just got them muddled.
I also found I greatly preferred swing, both the music (former sax/clarinet player) and the crowds. Swing dancers seemed more focused on having fun and generally less snobby.
As for leading, I improved greatly when I:
1: found a few partners who could back lead to show me what I was doing wrong. Its generally poor technique, but it greatly helps with getting the strong connection needed to telegraph the moves.
2: Understood the connections and flow enough to vary the patterns on my own.
It's a great way to make up for all the time stuck sitting a computer.
Thanks for the advice. I did stick to one style while learning. You say a month every weekend but that's just 4 lessons. I had 16 salsa lessons over 4-5 weeks and made no progress. The swing lessons were later.
Pretty much any style that has prescribed technique to it (not just random movements). Partnership dancing comes to mind. It takes years of training to make it look effortless, and it is (for the dancers). Even the best regularly go over the basics again and again.
I think this "making it look easy" is probably most relevant for ballet, where high level dancers still train very "basic" movements or use a lot of muscular effort to create the illusion of lightness etc.