[JohnBooty]

    Am I drinking "sparkling wine" or "champagne"? 
    Honestly, why should I care, I just care about 
    how much I like the product and how much it costs.

I think you are seriously underestimating the utility of walking into a store, seeing a product labeled as XYZ, and being assured that it meets some reasonable definition of XYZ without having to do a bunch of research and/or testing on your own.

Packaged food is an extremely cost-sensitive product category to put it mildly. There is tremendous pressure on these companies to shave off every penny they can when it comes to production costs.

I strongly suggest that we do not want to see what might happen if the FDA didn't enforce some kind of minimum definitions for various categories.

For a sneak peek of the probable outcome, you can learn about the history of adulterated food products: https://www.google.com/search?q=history+of+adulterated+food