| > I'd be more incredulous than angry I like your comments. But on one point ... Decades ago, reading Seneca’s “On Anger” changed my life overnight. I went from feelings of anger every 3 or 4 weeks to maybe once a year. And those occasions always concern those dearest to me, of whom I hold such great expectations. That’s because anger to me is one of disappointment of expectation. I would never feel ‘incredulous’ if someone stole or claimed credit for my work. I’d more feel “inevitability”. When you work with hundreds of people over time it will happen. And anger just doesn’t come into it at all. I do t avoid it, I haven’t eradicated it, I don’t control it. I’ve found a way of living where it very rarely arises. So aligning lived experience with an expectation model means anger isn’t something I avoid, it just doesn’t arise. When it does, it’s because my mind refuses to incorporate into any expectation model that my child will die, or my spouse will cheat. Perhaps in others minds, they can’t incorporate the expectation colleagues will steal work. It’s interesting that I am perfectly happy with my partner being someone who does get angry. It washes through her like a cleanser. There are many paths to happiness. |