[HexagonalKitten]

I agree about the red-flag part for avoiding all your exes, but I also find it a red-flag when someone says how well they get along with their exes. "If so, why do you have so many, and why aren't you still with any of them?"

If you were with someone with serious intent of trying to be a compatible partner, and failed despite your best efforts such that you and your partner agree the best thing is to not be together, then probably your instincts aren't as good as you would want... Maybe you don't fully understand why "being friends" won't be as helpful for either party as desired.

It's important to be capable of being friendly with your exes, all the more so the less you actually get along. But it's probably unwise to put this to the test.

[npsimons]

Honestly, I'm not in contact with any of my exes. It's not on purpose, we just grew apart and have moved on. If we happen upon a chance meeting, I'm sure we would be friendly with each other, but we're not going out of our way to seek out or avoid each other. I find these black and white rigid "rules" (such as not keeping in touch with any exes as a red flag) to be incredibly judgmental and limiting.

[HexagonalKitten]

The point isn't a guiding rule for you, so it's not limiting on your actions. It's where I see red flags. And yes, but judgement is a good thing.