[nexus2045]

I had the same problem when it came to “getting a girlfriend” (quoted because it might sound too trivial compared to this current issue, and also because I wanted one for the wrong reasons, which was to seem “normal” to others and stop being “forever alone”).

I was told I was acting too desperate and lacked confidence, to which I countered... how can I not act desperate when I’ve been lonely for so long? (Of course the answer to that is to enjoy being alone/single first, but I was getting huge FOMO and envy during college-age years when everyone else seemed to be in a relationship and I wasn’t). In hindsight, breaking out of a negative feedback loop requires a lot of conscious effort, or else reality becomes a nonstop fulfilling prophecy.