[nexus2045]

This is one of the most validating discussions I've read in a while. I think of myself as shy, lonely, maybe a little autistic. I grew up very alone as an only child, and would make up games or role play with myself to pass time in the evenings after school.

As I grew older, I had many poor social experiences. I felt that the social sphere was dominated by callous, insensitive jerks who talked louder, or whoever had the wittier comeback when being egged on, and I was hurt many times, and I most likely hurt others as well! I started to resent interactions with most people, thinking that most people aren't well intentioned or are unaware. I didn't want to have small talk or banter, because I was interested in random trivia and deep emotional experiences, which don't have a place in many social situations or seem to interest much people. Obviously I have also found quite a few people who were graceful in this regard, such as the few close friends I still have.