[astura]

What? This makes no sense. Capitalism isn't the problem, lack of boundaries is.

My best friend lived upstairs from her parents for years. It was her own apartment but the arrangement was hell on earth. Multiple times a day every day her mom would come barging in (and I do mean barging) to insert herself into whatever was going on in my friend's apartment, make nasty comments, or borrow/take something. Her mom eventually just stopped buying her own stuff because she just would take whatever my friend had if she needed it, plus it gave her more reason to bother my friend more often, which seemed to be her favorite activity in the world. Her mom even stopped driving her own car and just took my friend's whenever she wanted to go somewhere. The constant stress of the situation was so bad for my friend, it legitimately was ruining her health.

[DamnYuppie]

That is almost a form of abuse to be honest. I hope your friend has learned to set boundaries and enforce them. People like her mom are very good at manipulating their children and seeing absolutely nothing wrong with it.

[astura]

She moved out because she got married and everything's mostly fine now the mom doesn't see my friend's living quarters as an extension of her own.

[felipemnoa]

I imagine that the only way to truly set boundaries would be for the daughter to move away.

[cgriswald]

The underlying problem is the lack of boundaries. Moving away does not solve that problem. Only setting and enforcing the boundaries will solve the problem.

[dredmorbius]

Boundaries are a function of respect, assertion, community support, physical barriers, and distance.

Distance and cutting off contact (restraining order if necessary) are profoundly effective boundaries.

[cgriswald]

No amount of distance is a boundary. People can travel, use cell phones, or any other method to get past distance. It is only a logistical complication.

Psychological and emotional boundaries are required. Cutting off contact by itself is not enough. You have to communicate that you are cutting off contact. That's what establishes the boundary. In many cases you won't get a restraining order if you haven't established that boundary. The restraining order is a tool for physically enforcing an established psychological and emotional boundary.

[touisteur]

I agree with you, seeing how even my spouse's 16h-drive-away mother is still managing to insert herself into her child's life several times a day. I can see on my wife's face she's been talking to her mother when I get home. Even with new recent boundaries set (we're not visiting anymore, no more answering the phone or WhatsApp 33 times a day and then when not answering right away having other family call to argue that you're abandoning your family, fuck all of them), and I feel my spouse has made tremendous strides there, the mum is still finding ways to do this.

Downright psychological abuse.

[irrational]

Moving away solves the problem if you move far enough away that they can only visit rarely. You don’t have to answer the phone and text messages can be easily blocked.

[cgriswald]

Until they show up at your door, decide to move wherever you moved, or even try to move in with you.

You can't solve a boundary issue by not dealing with the boundary issue. At best, you can avoid it and hope it's no longer a problem. The underlying issue still remains.

[irrational]

Then you just cut them out of your life. Tell them to never contact you ever again and move once more.

[dredmorbius]

s/almost//

[felipemnoa]

Seems like she the mom was bored with her own life and would do this because she couldn't stand her own loneliness. And yes, it is a form of abuse as another commenter mentioned.