[TapWaterBandit]

One thing that never comes up in these discussions that seems very relevant to me is the preferences of women.

Maybe it is just from my own limited experience but women seem to vastly prefer dating/marrying men who have fulltime jobs, even if those men are independently wealthy and could get by without work.

Not to say there aren't women out there of the gold-digger persuasion, but at least amongst the upper-middle class women I grew up around work and the willingness to work is seen as an important character trait.

[octokatt]

I'm going to point out briefly that any preference you may have noticed would be a symptom of a society that says a full work week is 40 hours, and therefore needs to change.

Attributing this to a gender, instead of to a society (predominantly run by another gender), is incorrect at best.

[Viliam1234]

It also depends on personal experience.

Before we had kids, I told my wife about my dream to save a lot of money and retire early. She told me she couldn't respect a man who doesn't have a job. "Even if he already made so much money that he can take care of himself and his family for the rest of his life without having to work another day?" She admitted that it was probably an irrational preference, but this was simply how she feels. The ideal man enjoys working full-time, no matter what. Even a desire to work part-time is a turnoff.

A few years later, having small kids, I asked her again whether she would respect me less if I took a part-time job and spent more time taking care of the kids and household. Now she said that as long as we would still have enough money, it would be great.

(It remains only hypothetical, because I don't know any employer offering part-time jobs with hourly salary similar to what I make now. And I don't want to work 1/2 time for 1/4 money; I'd rather save some money now, and maybe later take a sabatical between two jobs.)

I am not sure the society is a sufficient explanation here. We disrespect the unemployed, that's true, but we respect rich people without asking how much they work. I don't think that a rich entrepreneur or politician would be turned down by women after admitting that he actually works 15 hours a week.

Maybe it is a function of age and experience. When you are young and childless, your world is only fun and work, so "I wish I could spend less time at work" translates as "I wish to only have fun all week long", which of course sounds like bad news about a potential husband. Only later you realize that things like taking care of kids and household are also valuable, and they compete for time with the job.

You seem to blame patriarchy for this (you didn't use the word, but you said "society predominantly run by another gender"). Ironically, seems to me that feminism plays its part here, too. (Not too surprising; horseshoe theory, etc.) If your political goal is to get women into all kinds of jobs, you need to brainwash them that a career is something intrinsically desirable, as opposed to merely something you do in order to pay your bills. Many young women are thrilled about their dreams of a future career, and then of course a man dreaming about early retirement simply has incompatible values. It takes a few years of work experience to realize that the career isn't what you imagined it to be during university.

[galoisgirl]

Yeah, because men have nothing to do with it, they admire stay-at-home fathers... /s

The other comment about society is important too. A full-time job will range from 30 to 60 hours depending on the society. I heard of a Japanese wife disappointed that her European husband was "lazy" because he was working European hours.