[chiefalchemist]

> I had listened to what they said — exactly as they said it, but I did not realize until much later that I failed to actually understand what they meant.

Two things come to mind:

1) Wants are not needs. To pun Ford a bit, "I want a bigger, faster more reliable horse to get to work. Something safer for my family" is what the clearly stated want is. Remove horse and you're at root need. The Need. Too often, The Need is never distilled from the want.

2) In Covey's classic book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" he says something along the lines of: Seek first to understand, then be understood.

Yes, listen with intent. But before you write a single line of code, draw - yes, free-hand - a prototype of (what you think) you heard and share it with the other person - the user, the customer, even a colleague.

Never assume. Never assume a want is The Need. Never assume you understand until you've vetted that understanding.