[eganist]

> Go find some Baha'is where the 'backbiting is the most great sin' puts a tamper on the behavior?

I'm quite fond of Baha'i culture, honestly. Even though I don't put stock in the religion itself, they seem fairly dedicated towards mental discipline and radical candor (honesty of mind etc). And it's only with these circles of (Persian) friends that I haven't observed the kind of backbiting I've been railing against in my comments here.

Really, taarof is exactly as gross as I'm saying it is, because when it goes wrong (and it goes wrong a minority of times but frequently enough to matter), it does so in spectacular fashion. It spawns the kind of vitriol that ruins friendships with grudges, all because someone ended up having to give or do something they didn't want to do but projected for the sake of image.

It's unnecessary, it's rarely amusing, and it breeds malcontent.

Thanks for listening. I recognize it sounds extreme, but I've never seen anything good come from it in any of the many circles I'm in.