[conductr]

> If she is in a serious committed relationship, her partner's opinions will be really important to her decision-making process.

6 years since my wife's double mastectomy and honestly I'm only posting for potential benefit of anyone that reads this. Do/suggest/live-with/support what ever is least invasive for your wife/partner. I nearly steered my wife into a very invasive surgery due to it having more "real" outcome (she knew I wasn't really into implants in general and preferred natural). Honestly, I think she wanted that too - it's a hard time that leads you to this type of surgery and something that sounds "normal" is what you will gravitate towards. However, then I came to my senses/digested some research and realized how invasive the surgery was and how I didn't want her to have to go through it (+risks) and I had to kind of talk her out of it. It was the difference between, quickly adding some implants (couple hour surgery) and a procedure that required re-routing an artery, relocating some stomach muscles, and some other grueling things I don't recall (18 hour surgery).

After that ordeal, and a C section birth of my son, yah she has some scars. But they become invisible and life moves on and that's the best part.

[beachy]

I don't think "least invasive" should be the only criteria.

In our case, we choose the opposite way to you, i.e to have the DIEP reconstruction. Yes it's a lot more invasive, but also:

A) the results are more natural (moving tissue from one part of the body to another) and theoretically good forever. No need to worry about the state of your implants a few decades down the track.

B) In our case at least, it's a form of reconstruction that is a little bit leading edge, and exciting to the surgeons. I feel that's a good thing as there was a lot of focus by a lot of people on the surgery going well.

Instead of just "least invasive" I would suggest considering the long term maintenance as well.

FWIW we are super happy with our choice, mainly because it puts everything in the rear view mirror forever, and as just a single breast involved, from memory the surgery was more like 9 or 10 hours, not the 18 you are quoting.

[conductr]

Glad to hear this. I’ve actually never discussed with anyone that chose that procedure. Admit I might have mis-remembered the operation time, it was a long time ago and I’m not fact checking myself just went off memory. But was something long enough that I remember discussing with the doctor.

It’s all good points we did consider, that again I didn’t even recall at time of writing. She will have some maintenance operations like you said, we weighed that and felt ok with it (same maintenance that any person with implants will have, replacing every 10-20 years).

I agree with the leading edge and exciting part you mentioned. We had to find a surgeon that was young enough to know the procedure. It was our original plan, then when we told him we decided against it later you could see the excitement fade in his demeanor. (Cynically I say because he knew the pay day was smaller. But I work with a lot of doctors on the business end, and this is really how many of them think.) Also was a concern. I don’t remember the details, but what are long term implications of moving things around? This space is rife with examples of once cutting edge procedures that in hindsight are causing problems.

All that said, we had a thing happen to my wife where super routine procedure turned into her almost dying from loss of blood. She had to have transfusions and whatnot. It was horrible experience. So, we gained a strong aversion.

My main point is, whatever you chose, it’s really easy to get “used to” the scars and looks of it. Of course, some people don’t and it affects the sex life and all that. But I think using data about what MEN think on gut reaction can be harmful and misleading because it’s going to steer towards something that may not be the best decision for the patient. It’s difficult to design a survey that takes “getting used to it” time into account, but I feel like that would be more appropriate. I know my wife’s main concern was looking normal in clothes. But that was a proxy for symmetry and size and things she equates with “normal”.