[ALittleLight]

What's a good way to detect this early? Just from the pattern you shared it sounds like a good idea to check who they're talking to on instagram to catch any new contacts and review them.

I'm personally trying to decide whether I want a digital panopticon for my children where I won't be surprised by anything like this, and being more laissez faire. I enjoyed unrestricted and unmonitored internet traffic growing up and quite enjoyed it. On the other hand, my wife did too but had a significant negative experience.

[toyg]

I’ve forbidden Instagram on my daughter’s phone. It condenses everything that is terrible about modern society: the incessant pursuit of (largely fake) outward success and related promotion of idiotic and unhealthy role models. I don’t know how long this will last (she’s 11) and there is only so much one can do (does she use filters to make tons of pics trying to look “cute”? Sadly, yes), but I’ll do what I can.

Obviously she’s also had all the spiel, both from parents and teachers) about not trusting anyone online who they’ve not met beforehand, about not sharing pics of private parts for any reason, and I’ve started pointing out that “the internet does not forget”, and that innocent-looking material passed to trusted parties might well be used against her later on.

In a way, it’s horrible: as a kid I was free to do anything I wanted, worst that could happen was prank-pwnage on the worst IRC channels; and I met a few interesting characters I may have not encountered otherwise. It’s the digital equivalence of letting 6-year-olds roam free outside, something that was natural 40 years ago and sadly could be very dangerous today. “This is why we cannot have nice things.”

[ALittleLight]

I agree that instagram is too much for young people. Probably too much for some older people too. I also agree that there are some horrible implications from this technology - even though I'm generally more techno-optimist, it's harder when trying to think through how my children will interact with the internet.

One tip I've read regarding the spiel your daughter has heard from both parents and teachers, is that it's also important to let your child know she can come to you if she does make a mistake in this regard. Apparently some predators will, if they can get naked pictures or something like it in the first place, use that as leverage to exploit the child further. It's good to let your child know not to share naked pictures, but I think it also needs to be clear that if they do they can still get help from their parents.