[richard_todd]

By your logic, how can you can casually say "walk in my shoes," when you can be sure it bugs people confined to wheelchairs?

Do you owe us all an apology and a promise to never use that common and easily-understood idiom again? I don't think you do... but do you think you do? If not, why not?

[zaksoup]

Well, Honestly, this is a great point.

However, I don't think I owe you all an apology, and you'll notice that I never asked anybody for an apology for using "fall on deaf ears" or anything else. I did say we should practice radical compassion and if somebody says to us "hey this phrase bugs me or hurts my feelings" there's very few reasons I can imagine why we shouldn't accept that and consider using different language.

I'm happy to trade "live my life" for "walk in my shoes" in order to make folks who use wheelchairs feel more included in my communities. Why not? What do I lose? It's not like "walk in my shoes" is some deeply important idiom to me and if I never say it again I will be forever a less-happy person.

[richard_todd]

I totally agree with you in the context of small settings. There, it's correct to avoid phrases that are harmful to people, once you are aware of the issue they have. That's just part of not being an asshole.

But in public forums--and relevant to the article--public software/documentation, I believe the number of problematic phrases approaches 100%. Even referencing "years from now" can bring a Stage-4 cancer patient to tears--100% real pain I have seen with my own eyes--and there are many people in that state. Yet, obviously we have to accept that we will cause those people pain and go ahead referencing the future that was taken from them.

Therefore, to me, the only social contract that "works" in public is that we all try not to offend, and anyone who gets hurt by everyday language realizes their reaction is mostly an internal issue, and no harm was meant or could be reasonably avoided.

I'd expect that latitude of the wheelchair-bound person who winces at references to walking, and from the developer who thinks of slavery at the sight of a "master branch." The tinge they felt was real, but in my view it is not our responsibility to avoid it in a public space. As a result, I must disagree with the handful of advocates who want to change every git repository on the planet. But maybe I am in the wrong. It is just my opinion.

Thanks for your reply. I always worry these topics will get unnecessarily heated.

(edit: removed a bunch of text that was just reiterating stuff I already said).