[WarOnPrivacy]

I lament the pressure for US nuclear families to fissure apart. It may not be overt pressure but it's consistent, delivered in countless expectations (do job|college and move out|away) and assumptions (gone yet?)

My parents died when I was 14 & 21 respectively. Decades before, my dad moved my mom away so we grew up w/o any extended family nearby. When my first child was born, my wife and I were on our own - which would surprise zero Americans.

Objectively I was good parent and a terrible parent. With no ongoing guidance, the terrible wound up outweighing the good (because w/o exp, what we have are hunches, anecdotes and ill equipped reasoning). My kids and I will spend the rest of our lives repaving my bad roads. This result would have been different with extended family nearby and - critically - some on hand.

Some American ideals (eg:individualistic independence) come with an unreasonably high price. We would be a far better people if we elevated keeping 3+ generations together and normalized housing that would support that.

[AtlasBarfed]

The demographic bomb of a huge mass of people entering high-cost-healthcare old age and not being supported by enough young people being born (aka the entitlements pyramid scheme) seems to be exacerbated by the elderly potential grandparents not offering their services to make raising of grandchildren easier, especially in modern two-income cultures.

While obvious I was not around for previous generations of childrearing and can't comment as to whether the 1950s nuclear family represented a fundamental drop in childrearing support/labor by grandparents and extended family, being a recent parent and being around other recent parents, it does seem like grandparents and extended family aren't as helpful as it "feels" like they should.

Combine that with the massive generational war underway in America between college debt, healthcare costs, home ownership costs, and vastly reduced job market, it really does seem like we need fundamental policy to encourage having kids, starting with child care. Immigration can't serve all of the generational pyramid scheme.

A "retired people child care corps" would be a nice thing to try. Mental and physical activity is key to health in retirement, and childcare is an excellent healthy disruption to retirement. They especially could help out with unscheduled childcare needs.

[WarOnPrivacy]

>A "retired people child care corps" would be a nice thing to try.

I don't see how we can - liability. While older means wiser, it doesn't necessarily mean safer. We can offset the risk a lot by mandating minimum 2, non-related caregivers. In families, however, the vetting is so much more complete.

Regardless, I genuinely like and appreciate that line of thinking.