[jordanlewis]

You're in luck - there's a database just for you! It's all of CockroachDB, with whatever name you want:

https://github.com/tbg/bikesheddb

[abiogenesis]

Well played, but I don't think naming an enterprise product is bikeshedding.

[SilasX]

Agreed, and I pretty thoroughly unpacked that argument in the thread from three years ago:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14309984

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14310444