[AlphaOne1]

I will be the first to admit that becoming a father was a difficult transition. One book that I recommend that all fathers read is The Boy Crisis. With the usual disclaimer that I do not agree with everything the author states, it greatly helped me see what a crucial role I have in raising our kids (my wife and I were blessed with 5 children, including 2 sets of twins). Interestingly, the first baby was by far the hardest transition because we both felt trapped in our new roles. Now that we are a few years in, it has been extremely rewarding to watch our kids mature. My wife and I have spent hours discussing this topic and we agree that fatherhood in general is not well understood in society today. The book helped me to understand my unique role as a father in raising our kids. My wife and I share a similar value system but are often baffled by how different our approach is to parenting. I might sound antiquated but I really think we compliment each other in how we approach our children.

Oh and one side note: the single most important quality of life change that my wife and I made was to get our kids to go to bed early. We now have them all in bed by 7:30 PM so the rest of the evening we have to ourselves. This takes discipline on our part especially after a long day at work but the kids are much happier with more sleep (even though it can sometimes be a battle to get them to stay in bed).

Overtime you will be surprised at how much progress you can make. Try and enjoy the little things in life. Since I'm in medicine, most of my life has been a whirlwind of activity: having kids has forced me to slow down and appreciate life in a new way. One small example, is that the highlight of my week is seeing my kids super excited for the homemade pancakes I make on Saturdays. It gives mom a break :)

Being a father gets better with time and I will say that parenting is the most important and rewarding undertaking of my life, even more so than programming or graduating medical school. Good luck and remember you are not alone there are literally millions of other fathers out there with similar struggles!