[joelhooks]

Doesn't really matter that it was a person either.

"Use of stolen 3g card lands organism in jail" /scrubbed

[m_myers]

It's probably important that this was a conscious organism. Although the shock factor would be higher if a tree had been jailed.

And "stolen" is much too strong a word. Let's say "illicitly obtained".

And it wasn't the "use", it was the excessive use.

And there was a fine also, so you can't just leave it at "jail". That sounds judgmental, anyway. Call it "corrective action".

OK, now what have we got?

"Excessive use of illicitly obtained 3G card by conscious organism garners heavy corrective actions"

Ahh, much better. No one can possibly be offended by that. Right?