[throaway888]

I'm in my early-mid 20's and I feel dispassionate/disinterested doing much other than gaming and consuming content after work. There's no real "community" that I am a part of outside of work.

I'm working on losing weight right now to build confidence and get into more things but until then it's just work -> gaming -> consume content -> sleep -> repeat.

I feel like I need to find something outside work to enrich my life and make new friends...

[domano]

I was in the same situation 5 years ago.

The solution for me was focusing on 1 problem at a time for 1 year.

This was my personal solution:

I started with smoking and i quit smoking first. Year 1

Then weight. Just stop drinking soda or anything sweet and drop all candy. Withdrawal is awful (physically painful) for a week, after a month you won't miss it a bit. Forget about candy forever, just desserts in restaurants for special occasions.

Lift weights at home, start with water bottles. Just keep at it and try to improve a bit every 2 days, every small improvement is a win. Go for walks.

After a year you will be fine, i lost 45 kilos in 2 years whilst still enjoying normal food except candy. Year 2 (will become a habit)

Kickstart your career. Learn new tech in your domain and try to apply it in side projects and/or give conference talks about things you just learned. Remotely this is easier than ever. Have courage and propose architecture changes etc. If your company is unaccepting switch companies. Year 3

Now this one is hard because of covid: Go to meetups, especially gaming / board gaming focused ones. Make these social things a priority. If anyone asks you to go somewhere do it no matter what, even if you do not feel like it. Keep doing this, you will build relationships. Year 4

[Jtsummers]

That sounds familiar to me. If it weren't for COVID, I'd suggest a similar path to what I took (led to both losing weight and building up a social group) which is to join a team sport. Like a local soccer league, if you're very out of shape take it easy the first season then use the improvements you do see as motivation to continue exercising between seasons.

However, I don't know of any soccer leagues going on that aren't COVID hotbeds. Kickball and softball provide a lot more space between players, but doesn't reach the same activity level. But being in shape helps with both of them and they can both provide good social connections.

I also joined two other groups at about the same time. The area's "Young Professional" group, which was a monthly meetup of professionals aged about 22-35. And a church group (if you're not at all religious this will not be of any interest to you) that was about the same age range and met up twice a month. Through both I found new friends and started doing more things (I actually joined soccer through the friends made at the church group).

However, COVID is messing all of those things up. You can still see if there are groups that are meeting and join them so long as they're being reasonably cautious and meet your personal safety threshold.

[ativzzz]

Tennis is also an outdoor sport that allows you to keep distance while getting a great workout, but the outdoor part may or may not be applicable in the winter depending on where you live.

[Jtsummers]

Good point. One nice thing about rec sports like soccer is there's usually a division for people who absolutely suck (or are novices). Tennis is a bit more frustrating when you and your opponent are grossly mismatched (for both players). Soccer can still be fun unless you're on a team of klutzes.

[throaway888]

Thanks for the advice! I like a lot of the ideas you gave. I hope things go well for you to!

[Jtsummers]

If you want to get into the outdoors giantg2's idea is good, but also look into hiking groups. REI, for instance, organizes events sometimes free or low cost. You can meet people through that and start doing more hiking or camping outside the REI (or whatever org you start with) events.

And try to become the organizer of events. That was when my social life really turned around. I stopped waiting for invites, and started doing the inviting. In my prior city there was a First Friday event downtown with lots of live music and art shows. I'd invite people out. Or I'd organize a dinner and a movie night. I know a lot of these things aren't feasible right now, but as you start to build up a social network, consider doing this. It's a lot more pleasant (be prepared for some events to fail) to have made the plans (be it a pickup soccer game, a hike or camping trip, a night out on the town, a board game night in) than to be waiting for others to make them for you.

[giantg2]

One thing that came to mind for me is mushrooming. You can usually find a local mycological club to go foraging with. You don't even have to eat the mushrooms if you don't want to. You can go and learn about finding them, cooking them, interesting forms/traits, etc. It's a great way to have a common interest and get out hiking with a purpose. Being outdoors is also a great low risk (from a covid perspective) way to gather with others. The only downside right now is that, depending on your location, winter doesn't offer as many foraging opportunities as the other seasons.

[the_only_law]

Same situation here. Add the cliché "never fit in anywhere" crap and im worried where I'll be in a decade. Pre-covid I was making an effort to go out more and all, but with limited results. I figured with the insane amount of free time covid gave me, I could at least be somewhat productive and had big project and learning goals, but I'm not as smart / drive as I once thiught and most of my projects end up being too expensive to make much progress on in a meaningful amount of time