| I'll take a shot at this. High school drop out, quickly got a GED at 18, never went to UNI, 6 years later making a mid six figure salary as a programmer. Have 2 year old kid. While I make a good salary and will probably continue to do so for the rest of my life (particularly because on of my present motivations is to start a company of my own), the driving factor behind my success has been my upbringing. I grew up in a shattered immigrant family. We never had enough money. It was gigantic source of stress for me. Constant fights between parents, moving at least once every two years, always made fun of for the way I dressed and carried myself. Never really had any friends. My only recourse at the time was to fall into petty criminal activity and associating myself with hoods. "Lucky" for me, the constant moving due to being broke prevented me from creating any long lasting relationships with scum. Eventually I found myself living in a small town far away from where I grew up. No friends. No skills. Too scared/smart to do anything illegal. I spent the entirety of my time over the course of 4 years learning software development. I took on side projects that I was way under qualified for and learned as I went. My only motivation was money so we could eat. This was my college education. I didn't spend any time enjoying myself (other than playing video games between working). I worked for 12-16 hours per day, 7 days a week, no exaggeration. The side effects of this? I still don't have any friends (most people made them in uni or carried them over from high school). While I do have interests and several personal hobbies, I don't do anything particularly well other than my work. The overwork of those 4 years became a part of my personality. All I do is work. Actually, it's Sunday and I'm working in a coffee shop right now. Yesterday I spent the beginning part of my day with my kid, then after noon I worked until 9pm. I'm not complaining or whining; I'm actively working on fixing the things that were broken due to my early life experience. In ~5 years I expect to restore a sense of normality to my life, but I'll never stop working like a maniac :) The reason I told you this story is to emphasize how important it is to have a drive. It doesn't matter what your driving factor is. Could get getting laid. Could be money. Could be fame. Could a fear of being broke. Could be a fear of failure. I don't expect my son to relive my life because he has a stable home with 2 loving parents. Instead, I will rigorously push the status quo. He must get good grades. He must go to university. Then I'll see how he handles it and make changes according to what I believe is good for him. If he fails miserably at school, I'll try to understand why. Is it because he's an idiot, that is, mentally incapable of doing the work? Then I'll be happy if he becomes an auto mechanic and doesn't fall into drugs/crime. Is it because he isn't challenged enough and doesn't like school? That's fine, but he will be responsible for supporting himself the minute he believes he's an adult. So all in all, I don't care if my kid goes to uni. I don't care if he does. What I care about is him having the motivation, drive, and passion to do something productive and contribute to society. |