[abdabab]

I think you answered yourself already.

> I noticed I had set up impossibly high expectations for my life and because of that, everything I accomplished always felt like it was nothing or it felt like it was something already expected for me to accomplish

That’s a great start.

> I also don't feel prepared to move to another country to join a big company (I want to work at MS someday lol).

Go for it! My personal opinion is working in a smaller company is lot more fun. MS or FAANGs are more like chasing Ivy League school for grownups. Having been there and done that I don’t see the allure anymore.

> I also feel locked into a path which I don't enjoy much anymore. While I want to work as a researcher, to learn more and make use of all I've learned until now, I want to try other things related to computers.

Change it! If I quote Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss you’re right now in a waiting place and you already know the steps you want to take. Now let’s start taking baby steps towards that.