[chmod775]

My phone is always on completely silent mode. It doesn't even ring when someone calls me.

Instead when I've got a call the LED blinks and people know I'll call them back once I've got the time and notice it.

For messages (whatsapp, mail, whatever) I generally only catch up on them once a day.

I don't know how other people can tolerate allowing others to annoy them whenever they feel like it, or deal with the incessant notification noises.

Especially software developers, mathematicians, etc. How do they have time to think and focus when they're interrupted every few minutes?

[nottorp]

Yeah seriously. Why isn't it obvious that the way to resist distractions is to turn ... them ... off?

For communication, async is the key. For mindless entertainment, cut off any way said entertainment has of interrupting you. Even Android allows you to turn off notifications now...

[4ggr0]

I do the same, but recently my mom asked me a question I didn't really know how to answer. She asked, how she's supposed to contact me if there's an emergency. I countered that I don't think that I should be the Single Point of Contact for an emergency, because that's the job of the Police, Ambulance etc.

I thought about this question a lot, in the end I think it's a classic "But what if the worst case happens"-situation, and that my mom and I both are right in our own ways.

What do you think, HN?

[cosmie]

"Mom emergencies" aren't always first responder type emergencies. They could be family emergencies she needs to communicate with you about, or (if my mom is any indication) her being in a time-sensitive situation where she needs to rely on your expertise for something.

Or many, many "mom emergencies" that are not emergencies at all, but that she feels are.

If you're using an iPhone, you can change the Ringtone and Vibration settings for individual contacts. The setting is called Emergency Bypass[1], and it's at the very top when you enter the ringtone/vibration selection screens when editing a contact. It'll bypass both Do Not Disturb mode as well as Silent Mode. I wouldn't recommend using it for the ringtone because then literally every text/call will always ring, but turning it on for vibration may reassure your mom that she can reach you when she's in need.

I'm notorious for putting my phone on silent temporarily and accidentally leaving it like that for days at a time, and I ended up doing that for my mother. She knows how much my phone drives me crazy, and when I let her know I did that for her, her reaction told me it was more meaningful to her than pretty much any bday or Mother's Day gift I've ever given her.

I very quickly turned it off for the ringtone, because the novelty of it made initially overwhelm me with a constant stream of random messages and calls (which subsided after a while). But left it on for vibrate. Although I haven't mentioned that update to her...

[1] https://www.imore.com/how-receive-messages-specific-contacts...

[4ggr0]

I don't know if I can set it that specifically for Android, but I know that contacts can be excluded from Do-No-Disturb mode. I'd that this could be done for a specific apps and contacts. So if my mom writes me on WhatsApp, it stays silent. But if she calls or writes an SMS, it goes through.

[theon144]

I rely on the "let call through if it rings twice within 5 minutes" feature and I let calls on selected contacts through. My family almost never calls me unless its urgent (we communicate over IM and other channels), so this solution is almost as perfect as it can be, I think.

[4ggr0]

That's a very good idea! Will probably implement this on my phone, thanks :)

[tonyarkles]

On iOS, at least, there’s a setting where you can allow repeated calls from the same number to “punch through” do not disturb mode. I think it was introduced around the same time as auto-DND at night.

[blowfish721]

IIRC there's also one where you can allow favourite contacts through.

[chmod775]

>She asked, how she's supposed to contact me if there's an emergency.

Mine's got a setting where it rings normally when someone calls me 3 (or was it 2?) times in a row. So in an emergency just keep trying.

[4ggr0]

Yeah, this is probably the solution, thanks :)

[doctorOb]

A PagerDuty family account?

[4ggr0]

Maybe I could buy a pager for every family member, haha.