[throwawydedbee]

Although no kids were involved in my case, "mere" alimony can be crushing. I spent a several years living on $625/mo (the residue after alimony and payroll taxes). And no, I wasn't particularly well off to begin with, left with maybe $500K net worth after the split.

So, beware. On the other hand, being poor-ish makes you realize that possession don't matter so much after all. And drinking will pave over a lot of unhappiness.

As for sex toys and porn, there's a lot to be said for them. We might actually be far happier if we reserved man/woman sex just for reproduction. And even then, maybe artificial insemination would be the way to go.

One of the best things about the Internet is that one can read literally thousands of tales of relationship woe if one cares to. If that had been available way back when, it would have saved me a lot of grief.

[maroonblazer]

>We might actually be far happier if we reserved man/woman sex just for reproduction.

I think it'll be just the opposite.

Genetic engineering will evolve to the point where it will be irresponsible to rely on the random variation of sexual intercourse to reproduce. Instead, methods like IVF and the like will be the only way to responsibly (ethically/morally) reproduce. Sex will then be solely for pleasure/connection.

[tomjakubowski]

$500k net worth would put you nearly in the 20th percentile for US household wealth. The low post-alimony income, from your job I guess, does sound very difficult, but do you really consider that level of wealth to be "poor-ish"?

[throwawydedbee]

I'm well aware that I have nothing to complain about, money-wise, when considered on a global scale. (To say nothing of the historical scale.)

I've never missed a meal. And a precious person in my life gives me a roof over my head, use of her car, food, and most importantly, her support.

At the same time, all of my cash is gone. I've had to drain my retirement accounts, and it turns out that alimony/penury is not a valid excuse, so you pay the 10% penalty for early withdrawal. It's embarrassing to explain to HR why I'm taking 30 allowances on my W-4 when everyone else takes only a few. I can't take the company 401k matches, because I don't have the money to do so. More money lost. The deductions for alimony are mostly wasted, because if alimony takes most of your income, you didn't owe taxes anyway. You can't use it in a future year--you just lose the value of it.

A lot of "normal" financial/tax regimes are stacked against you when you're under alimony. Had to explain to family why a contribution to my 401k would cost me 10% of the contribution in taxes, right away. Seems inconceivable, but that's how it works out. Alimony? Fuck you, buddy.

If you want my lesson, don't get married. Nor live in any sort of common law situation.

I have nothing to say about kids. If you get someone pregnant, expect to pay for the next 20 years. I have no particular problem with that. Children are always the highest priority. (Better not to bring them into the world, though.)

[Noumenon72]

It was out there -- there were dead bedrooms in Dear Abby, divorce statistics in the Reader's Digest, differing male and female sex drive in the psychology textbooks. Commitment always looked like a lousy bet.