> Amicable out of court settlement seems to be best.
This was my approach, and ultimately I got what I wanted because it was fair and because the courts here are generally fair. Although we didn't go to court, knowing how the court would rule was hugely supportive in me offering a fair deal and standing my ground.
It's almost impossible to amicably settle out of court, though. There are too many people on both sides trying to stir the pot to get the most for their client. If you're in this situation, you, as a client, need to be very clear about what you are trying to achieve with your lawyer. Their default is to go in guns blazing. I did this with my lawyer, and he only unleashed the nukes when necessary. My ex did not (and for reasons, it was very obvious to me that her lawyer was in charge, not her). It ended up costing both of us quite a bit. Just as one example, we spent five hours paying a private judge, two lawyers, and two accountants to ultimately reach a final agreement. The agreement we reached? The one my side offered in the first five minutes.
Then, even when it's over, maybe it's not. My ex's new husband convinced her to sue me over child support. More thousands in lawyers fees later, and nothing changed because it didn't have a chance in hell.
This was my approach, and ultimately I got what I wanted because it was fair and because the courts here are generally fair. Although we didn't go to court, knowing how the court would rule was hugely supportive in me offering a fair deal and standing my ground.
It's almost impossible to amicably settle out of court, though. There are too many people on both sides trying to stir the pot to get the most for their client. If you're in this situation, you, as a client, need to be very clear about what you are trying to achieve with your lawyer. Their default is to go in guns blazing. I did this with my lawyer, and he only unleashed the nukes when necessary. My ex did not (and for reasons, it was very obvious to me that her lawyer was in charge, not her). It ended up costing both of us quite a bit. Just as one example, we spent five hours paying a private judge, two lawyers, and two accountants to ultimately reach a final agreement. The agreement we reached? The one my side offered in the first five minutes.
Then, even when it's over, maybe it's not. My ex's new husband convinced her to sue me over child support. More thousands in lawyers fees later, and nothing changed because it didn't have a chance in hell.