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by yesenadam
2068 days ago
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That's..great that you dealt with one bully successfully. Or someone who's in your life for half an hour. It does seem you have no idea how bad bullying often is. I'm sure my case wasn't particularly bad, but it was bad enough for your apparent promotion of exposure to bullying as a good, character-building thing to seem oblivious to the problems a lot of people have with it. Bullying isn't part of my success story, it made me miserable for years. And the people doing it were seemingly happy about that. I had dozens of bullies for years in high school - that combined with mostly very bad teachers made the experience one I could've done without. I never told any adult about the bullying or tried to do anything about it. Maybe because my father bullied me at home also, and I guess that was life. Eventually in my 20s I somehow healed myself, thanks to a self-help, psychology and spiritual books of all kinds and a lot of..inner work. |
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Where would you draw the line between complex social interaction (mild, sporadic bullying) that gives an opportunity to learn social patterns of behavior, and a wholly negative experience with no benefits?
I'm attempting to build a spectrum between:
A. Never letting a kid ride a bicycle because of the remote possibility they might fall and hurt themselves
B. Giving your 9 year-old a 600cc dirtbike with no helmet, and setting them loose in Manhattan.
The parent comment I was responding to, as well as your comment have established a similar spectrum between never letting your child experience interpersonal adversity, versus making your child's life a living hell.
There's a healthy middle-ground somewhere in there. That's what I'm arguing for. Give kids challenges they can overcome on their own, and it will make them more capable adults. Don't throw your kids into wolf-pits.