[cycomanic]

> > You kind of have to. If you were not emotionally invested in some way, you wouldn’t be arguing.

> That is, I think step one is try to understand why you (and your debate partner) are emotionally incentivized to care about the topic in the first place.

I think this is excellent advise. To add to this, I think often minor details, like the use of some word or terminology can trigger an immediate "emotional reject" response. It then becomes impossible to have a constructive debate because the person will reject all arguments based on that emotional reaction to the minor trigger. It then is very helpful to trace back to the source of the reaction and e.g. agree on different terminology.