[solidist]

I appreciated the write and liked how some references back to high output management - excellent book. I wrote a similar contemplating piece, being in the role for some years now. Here: https://dev.to/solidi/what-is-an-engineering-manager-anyway-...

The management role is challenging and has affected me to the part where I go on continuous daily walks, thinking about what to do next. I mess up and have broken down on numerous occasions about tackling challenging topics that play out for both the business and the individual in contra. I still care.

Some things I missed doing well: Being a shield. Do this more. But more importantly to me: to leave engineers better than I find them. Ratcheting is the metaphor. I understand that I'm always asking for more.

It's a lot of meta and reflection while the delivering is or isn't happening.