[rit]

Whether you are being serious or not, the Federal Government does not recognize Same Sex marriage (Defense of Marriage Act, I believe) and thus, it cannot be used for immigration purposes.

Not to mention, seeing that the OP is already in hot water with being here illegally, recommending he defraud the government with a fake marriage can only serve to make things worse. Especially as when they see his prior status they are going to look very, very closely at the legitimacy of the marriage.