As the guy that helped build the first ad platform on reddit, no, I don't think the provider should choose.
When we built the first reddit ad system, none of us liked ads, and we knew that a lot of users didn't either. We knew that we had to make useful ads if we wanted people not to block us. We knew we had to make them unobtrusive and even enjoyable.
We knew that we had to build an ad product people enjoyed if we wanted them to be effective and not get blocked.
And we knew some people would block them anyway, and that was fine. Heck, we even added an option to turn them off if you paid us, so that people had options.
I used to not run adblock as a way of supporting sites I liked, but then all the ads got so bad I just couldn't do it anymore. Now I just find other ways to pay for the sites I love.
It doesn't work the way you think it does. Ads are paid for my the click. Some people never click on ads. The kinds of people who are likely to consider running an ad blocker are the same type who never click on ads regardless if they have ads or not.
The ideal situation is never advertising ad blockers, never bragging about them, never making a big deal about them, and keeping some mild barrier of entry. This way the average person who has less of a concern about ads will not run an ad blocker, and meanwhile the one who never makes money for the company to begin with doesn't have to deal with it.
Ads are not just charged by click. Some campaigns pay by impression served and some pay by conversion. It depends on what the advertiser is trying to accomplish. Pepsi might pay per impression because their goal is brand awareness. Local Pizza joint might pay per click b/c they want to drive business off the web. AFKArena wants to pay by conversion because their ultimate goal is to get app installs.
Ads of all of these types generally compete for the same slot in an auction.
So yes, a user who has adblock is worth less than a user who doesn't have adblock but also doesn't click ads.
Technically, if the user with adblocker doesn't even count as an impression, and the campaign pays per conversion, then the overall click-through-rate of the ad goes up, which means higher RPMs!
In general yes, but not if they've agreed to display things in a certain way in order to receive a service, then accept the delivery of that service but don't follow through on their part of the agreement.