Ask HN: Anyone else miss spontaneous conversations at work?

[happycipher]

Considering it's been 6 months since most office workers have started WFH, this is a question I've been thinking on.

Of course, remote work has many benefits such as cutting down on commute times, being able to work at your own schedule, and less office distractions. But one thing I find sorely lacking & so far irreplaceable is the spontaneous interactions that used to happen. You know, water cooler talk, catching up with a friend you run into, side conversations before a meeting etc.

I was toying around with the idea of an app that can help you "bump into" your coworkers again, but only when you're on break & want to chat. I was curious if people even had this problem in the first place?

[ravenstine]

At the office? Kinda, but mostly not. In the end, it all is superficial. I haven't had a friendship from work that lasted more than 6 months after I quit. In retrospect, I would have liked all that time chatting back.

Outside the office, on the other hand, I definitely miss spontaneous conversation. In my experience, post corona, it's kinda hard to talk to anyone random. Most places where it would be appropriate are operating at a lower capacity, everyone is wearing a mask(making it difficult to read sentiment), and they all just want to get in and get out. It doesn't help that at least 20% of people are down right paranoid about getting the virus. I miss those random conversations at the cafe, the gym, the grocery store, the gastropub, etc., because at least they happen in a natural environment and have some potential for actual acquaintance. I know things are opening up very slowly, but it's still not the same.

Workplace, I can't care less. People are more fake at the workplace than in real life.

[nbaman_23]

The biggest thing I miss were the daily walks with close coworkers, whether to grab coffee, lunch or just to get outside and enjoy the fresh air.

I'm blessed in that I have two roommates I'm also best friends with, so that definitely helps, but I do agree with you that there is a certain privilege, if you will, to the spontaneity that comes with office talk.

[happycipher]

Thanks for sharing, definitely agree that having roommates helps a lot with the face to face interaction throughout the day!

Curious, do you still reach out to those close coworkers during lunch in some other medium? Or have you found that to be pretty challenging?

[cpach]

Now this makes me curious. Where did you grab coffee? At a nearby coffee shop?

[meibo]

Even just walking to the better coffee machine on the office floor below ours together used to be a nice time-out for me and usually made me feel more refreshed/productive when returning back to work.

[arh68]

We're back in the office 40 hrs/wk. Cubemates aren't exactly best buds, but today, we talked about: 1) motorcycle tire geometry 2) are Can-Ams really motorcycles 3) mechanical stethoscopes & car noises 4) the different types of superchargers 5) sports car vs super car 6) catalytic converters... I don't know, I would much rather telework 2, 4, even 5 days/wk. I don't think you're missing much, but I don't know your coworkers.

I think after-work hours are the big suck right now: teleworking 9-5 would be way better if 6-10 all the restaurants / bars / coffeeshops / .. were open (for that matter, coffeeshops 996 or st).

[kalyantm]

Yes. A lot. this is one of the things that really hit me hard when we closed our office and went fully remote Ad hoc random conversations about mechanical keyboards, good beers and tech opinions (React vs Vue, iOS vs Android) A lot of people will dismiss them as superficial (which it is to a great extent) but I still think it made us much more of a tight knit team

[codingdave]

My team has been remote for years, and it never stopped us from having spontaneous conversations. We have Slack channels set up specifically for that purpose, where many people say hi each morning, and throw in their thoughts. We'll do occasional calls with everyone as well, just to catch up.

The barrier to this isn't lack of an app - it is just developing the habit of reaching out and saying "Hi."

[happycipher]

Hey thanks for the answer!

Just out of curiosity, how did your team work to develop that habit when starting out? Is there anything in particular you did to hit that critical mass? I find it can be difficult at times to build that up.

[codingdave]

The culture was already there when I joined the team, 8 years ago - but for me, it started with the on-boarding process when someone new was hired. They were introduced via email to everyone, including a short bio. Everyone else responded in kind, so your first week was already a lot of informal conversations getting to know everyone. Then it just continued - we'd all help new folks get up to speed, ask them how things were going... it felt natural from day one.

[FailMore]

I built a social network for conversations during the lonely lockdown: https://taaalk.co. The conversations are typically about a subject (e.g. mental health, bitcoin, etc.). Anyone can start one and/or you can leave your details to Taaalk with others/request to Taaalk with someone who has left their details.

Please enjoy :). Always interested in feedback. Email in bio.

[happycipher]

Hey, I'll check it out, thanks!

[happycipher]

If the problem sounds interesting to anyone, I hacked up a little landing page to try and explain the proposed app better and gauge interest, https://trychitchat.web.app/ .

Shoutout to https://uselander.xyz/ for making it so easy to create clean landing pages.

[cweagans]

I don't miss it, but I've been working remotely for a long time. I recommend scheduling meetings a bit long on either end to facilitate chit-chat. An always-on voice channel is kind of nice sometimes as well (something like Mumble or Discord). Also, scheduling regular social hours with coworkers is pretty nice -- it can be as simple as playing a video game or a virtual happy hour.

[teeray]

I’ve never felt so close to hanging out with people online as when I frequented voice chat channels. In high school, my friends and I had one that we’d spend time in, doing homework, video games, w/e. If you needed to go heads-down on something, you just went into the AFK channel where everyone was force-muted.

I’d love to try it out at work, but I feel like there’s a lack of understanding culturally how voice chat is supposed to work and what a good setup looks like. People I’ve talked to about using it at work are (rightly) worried about interruptions to flow.

[happycipher]

Thanks for the tips! I've heard a few of these methods being tried out these days, especially the games & socials helping out.

Just curious, do you find people joining those always on voice channels like Discord often? And are these set up for the team, or some larger group?

[sarcasmatwork]

No. The open office environment was very annoying.

So I got some good noise canceling headphones and all was right for awhile until people start waving their hand in front of your face. ;-/

[happycipher]

Haha, I appreciate the candor! I definitely do like the tranquility now a days when I'm deep in code as well.

Just out of curiosity, would your answer also apply in moments when you wanted to take a break (ie got away from the desk, took a walk etc)?

[sarcasmatwork]

Nah, those off the wall conversations where nice. I do miss them.

Walking with people after lunch bs'ing about whatever was always enriching for me.

[happycipher]

Oh ok thanks for the follow up! I definitely agree it's challenging to replicate that kind of situation virtually. Especially if people eat lunch at different times, low visibility as to when they're not busy etc.

[schwartzworld]

for me, I've yet to have an online hangout experience that I actually enjoyed. I have a lot of trouble focusing on a screen, and with only one person able to talk at a time, I just can't get into conversations. They feel so unnatural.

Some people at work meet up on zoom rooms to hang out but the idea gives me weird anxiety. I'd give anything to go back to the office, but yet another meetup app wouldn't do anything for me.

[happycipher]

Thanks for sharing, I totally agree the inability to have a side conversation on video call makes group conversations so unnatural & zoom fatigue is a big issue!

Just out of curiosity, would your perspective about talking to someone change if this interaction was just a 2 person conversation? And if you could not look at a screen (ie audio or more low-tech phone call)?

[schwartzworld]

Honestly, I have a cell phone with video calling capabilities and thanks to work I have zoom and slack installed on it. Also WhatsApp for communicating with family in other countries, and my work computer has FaceTime. I can't imagine what your app would bring that isn't covered by one of these.

Which is not to say that you shouldn't just build it anyway. Much like slack and zoom, your real customers probably aren't people like me, but companies that want to adopt the technology to fill the office-culture-sized whole in all our hearts. And much like those apps, even if people like me don't like the experience, it's startups start adopting it, people use it

[bot41]

I do just for the social aspect. I don't miss other stuff like sitting in rows and never talking to the rows behind me because we're not on the same team and never overlap on anything. That's always just struck me as strange.

I also miss blowing off some steam with colleagues. I find noone really complains or blows off steam on Zoom or in MS Teams Chat.

[whikhngbu359]

We've extended our standups to have a chit-chat part, we also have coffee hangouts 2 a week. We did have always on voice channels on discord but they died out after couple of weeks. Once in a while we watch stupid movies together, and comment with voice chat. I'd stay it's not a replacement, but a decent substitute. I do miss the coffee in the office though.

[happycipher]

Thanks for sharing your perspective! Glad to hear those organized chats have been helping out even if they aren't full replacements.

[valehelle]

I had the same problem and so I created a website to make it easy for you to talk with your colleague.

The idea is that you can see who is around and just jump into a conversation without calling.

If you are interested you can look at it at https://www.inoffice.chat

[trashymctrash]

Maybe check out https://www.wonder.me/? Seems like it could be useful

Some people at my company are using it, but I don't miss the watercooler talk that much, so I haven't tried it

[happycipher]

Hey, this link is super interesting thanks so much for linking it! I really like their concept of a spatial dimension to meeting people virtually (reminds me a bit of onlinetown).

For the purposes of "breaks" though, considering all the zoom fatigue that people face, I was thinking of something that pairs people together for a more hands-free interaction (like audio or phone call) which allows people to actually walk around or brew coffee or whatever, just like when they're on break in a physical office.

[_5659]

I show up to meetings 15 minutes early if I can. Sometimes I catch other earlybirds doing this and we take the time to chat. Doesn't quite scratch the itch, but it's a good way to meet people.

[jojo2333]

yep, i'm ready go back to the office. This WFH stuff isn't all that it was hyped up to be and from talking to my co-workers, I'm not alone.

I don't think I'd ever work for a company that doesn't have significant in person/office presence.

[replwoacause]

Absolutely unequivocally no.

[mtmail]

Duplicate question https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24664221 The guidelines ask for "Please don't delete and repost." but I think that also applies to asking the same question within 2 hours.

[happycipher]

Hey there! I am the same poster from before and I apologize for the initial post. I think that post got suppressed by HN for some reason. I suspect it's because it somehow spiked up 5 upvotes and I fear they thought I linked it to people or used bots or something.

[dang]

They didn't delete it, so it didn't break that guideline. Probably best not to repost Ask HN questions so quickly though.

[happycipher]

Hey there, sorry about the rapid repost!

Like I mentioned earlier, I think I messed up somehow the first time because it didn't show up on "Ask HN". I hope I didn't make this redundant for any viewer.

Bit new to HN, but very sorry, I'll make sure to not repost in the future so quickly in case it actually is just a timing issue.

[mtmail]

thanks for clarifying