Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by dougmwne 2095 days ago
It is dangerous to rely on office relationships for your social needs. When you move on to your next role, those relationships go up in smoke. This should be a signal to cultivate stronger ties to friends and family.
4 comments

Office does not provide for social needs but provides a baseline level of social activity 5 days a week. I don't expect to make any friends in office but I am certain to talk to a few colleagues, have lunch in a group and make small talk every day of the week.

There is not much friction in all this since you know you are going to leave this behind at the end of the day. My interactions with close friends, although longer and much more meaningful, are also very bursty. The "mid-range socializing" (regular and frequent but not very serious) that office provides, that WFH is mostly unable to replicate in my experience, is something I am missing and I think it makes all the difference.

I have a few friends that I made at work that I still keep in touch with and we tried to schedule meetups every month or so - pre-Covid.
It's even more dangerous to have weak family/friend ties and not even have an office as a backstop.
Some of y’all need to stop extrapolating from your personal experiences. “I’m not good at making friends therefore no one is”

Co-workers often make good friends since they have a lot in common. Some of them will be acquaintances, some will be good friends. It’s normal

> “I’m not good at making friends therefore no one is”

I think you have it backwards. People who are "good at making friends" can also make friends outside of work, and so aren't left without social ties when everyone is working from home. If the only people you are making friends with are people who you both are compelled/paid to be around each other for 8+ hours a day, you might not be that good at making friends.