[ravioli_fog]

This sounds like a really tough time you are going through. I hate that for you. I hope you feel better tomorrow.

I imagine you are very good at your job, better than you think. I also imagine you are more capable than you believe. One note about devops and modern [insert popular technology/methodology] is that as tech people we love to share but we often don't share with the proper context. "I love X!" we say, instead of "I love X and work at company Y doing Z in order to solve Q under S constraints!"

Large companies deal with incredible scale, copious data, and as far as I can tell create only complex solutions. This is because the challenges they face are complicated, so... no easy wins. Is your company FAANG size? Maybe start to learn Kubernetes, if not... ignore it for now. Don't feel the stress of learning solutions to problems you don't have. Look for the UNIXs not the Blockchains.

The best quick intro to the modern devops/cloud developer stuff is easier. Learn a bit of docker. Learn a bit of AWS, Google, Azure or Digital Ocean. Make little experiments, or simply ask people who care about it. You don't have to know everything, no one expects you to. Trying to "cram" a bunch of complicated technologies into your brain while you are afraid and hurting isn't easy.

Feel better friend.