[jjoonathan]

Yep, that's how I intended it, effectively the same as "What?" with the implied offense level being no larger or smaller than the offense inherent in expressing surprise at someone else's opinion. That level is not zero, but it falls well within the bounds of civil discourse, especially given the lack of elaboration in the original position and the fact that I invested seventeen times its length on explaining my own -- only to not receive a followup from the original poster.

[ddingus]

I myself will use ?!? For curious surprise. Has never offended anyone.

[jjoonathan]

Yeah, next time I'll just type out the question. However, given that it's starting to look like OP ghosted the conversation, I'm increasingly comfortable with the originally-unintended rude undertones of "?"

[ddingus]

I got distracted and had intended a longer post.

If it were me, I would continue your preferred mode of expression.

Offence works in strange ways.

Truth is, we are all as offended as we think we are.

And the reasons for it vary widely, with some well established ones seeing broad, but rarely complete consensus too.

Implication?

There is no way to know what may be offensive beyond a few well trodden examples.

Second order implication?

Offence is gamed easily, and I submit regularly as a tactic more than a meaningful, or sincere sentiment.

Having worked through that in my life, I quit apologizing and put more effort into understanding others and helping others understand me.

Starts with, "I did not intend to offend"

And carries on with whatever the primary context is, not the meta context.

Where others insist on the meta, I simply cannot help them and either the convo settles back to its original intent and value or it does not.

All I can do is leave the door wide open to continue and express my stated intent and that I am the authority on it.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

I cannot tell you how many conversations I have recovered to good ends doing that.

My 0.02