[lioeters]

I wouldn't worry about it. We've all had bouts of imposter syndrome, or just realizing the limits of our natural abilities compared to others. There's nothing wrong with being a "working-class programmer", as long as the job gets done.

To become better and not "terrible", it takes persistence and continuous improvement - same as any other skill like playing a musical instrument. Keep writing code, paying attention to what's good and what feels messy. Keep learning new patterns and tricks, ways of organization.

What helps me the most are role models: find people whose works you admire, read their books, articles, the code they write. Find examples of software you'd consider excellent, and study what makes it good. Spending time with the best quality material, you'll become more familiar and fluent, to be able to produce works of similar quality and excellence.