[catwind7]

> I've come to realize I'm not very good at it and thats unlikely to change.

I may be wrong here but my impression from this comment is that you _want_ to improve, have a sense of where you can improve, but you have not found an improvement plan that works for you.

I can relate to the frustration of seemingly not being able to move the needle for your skills. One thing that has helped me over the years is adopting more effective learning strategies.

I highly recommend the books "A Mind for Numbers" by barbara oakley and "5 elements of effective thinking" (don't remember the authors) for some ideas on how to deepen your knowledge (so that you don't just feel like you possess purely surface level knowledge).