[Klinky]

I think you've realized you're not a Rockstar or 10X, not that you're terrible. Most people aren't Rockstars or 10X, and some question if those even exist.

Your best bet is to try to specialize in the tech within your professional space. If you're working for a company, work hard to understand the technology and codebase they are using. Try to learn best practices, and see how you can integrate them into the existing codebases. You'll maybe learn the patterns you feel you're lacking, and also learn that a lot of times stuff is not coded with best practices in mind. There is tons of production code hacked together and barely working, and in a lot of cases that doesn't matter, it only matters that it's technically working.

Management may be an option for you down the line if you're feeling you're still not confident coding is the right thing for you. I am sure people would love to have a manager that is at least relatively competent at reading code and tech literate.