[Zancarius]

I had this happen as recently as probably 2007. I was in my 20s at the time, and it also happened in an online game (WoW). Albeit, my experience certainly wasn't deliberate.

For whatever reason, I've almost always preferred playing female characters, but it quickly became an eye-opener to me how creepy other dudes are online. One of the more abusive of these sorts (funny at the time until I realized it was a behavior he probably continued to actual woman) was when I'd gone in to help some RL friends who were stuck in a dungeon, and they had this random chap in the group. As soon as I joined up, he started hitting on me. I ignored it for a while until it started getting really strange, and I told him rather flatly:

"I'm a dude, dude."

He went ballistic and called me all manner of names, inferring that I must clearly be homosexual because I was playing a woman (not sure how that works). After launching into his insults, he quickly left the group. I think he tried harassing me via private messages, but I blocked him by that point.

It occurred to me sometime later that the fact he realized he was hitting on another guy must have challenged his sexuality and made him incredibly uncomfortable doubtless leading to his anger and lashing out.

I noticed this behavior dropped off dramatically in the years following, either because more dudes (like me) were playing female characters and the creepy sorts realized it was a minefield to take the risk against random other players who may or may not troll them. Or perhaps harassment of the sort started to be taken seriously by the moderation team as the number of women playing increased.

I have reasons to doubt the latter and suspect it's a combination of the former. I also suspect most of the harassment was probably concentrated in guilds by that point where I wasn't as likely to see it firsthand as I played largely with people I personally knew. Leastwise, the weird random encounters dropped off precipitously within about a year.

[sbilstein]

I wish all the dudes who don't believe women get harassed _all the time_ would take a spin just playing an online game as a woman. Shit is real.

I've had coworkers in customer success get messages from stalkers via Intercom like "Hey <female name> I know where you live and work, be careful."

[Zancarius]

Agreed.

It's true: The experience was eye-opening to me, and that was what--13 years ago? Actually longer, now that I think about it, since I started playing at release in 2004 (also on female characters).

And you're right, I think it's a valuable experience that has to be seen to be believed. It's easy for me to post about it here, but it's difficult to convey how annoying it was (at best). Not simply from borderline sexual harassment either. There was, at the time, an undercurrent of harassing accusation that any dude playing a female character clearly had to be "gay." Looking back on it, this whole idiotic and immature belief was laughable, because all the gay guys we had in our guild played male characters. They also gave me a hard time for being hit on with some regularity, so at least there was some levity among our group to make light of an otherwise sad and disgraceful situation.

Unfortunately, that's not the only circumstance I can remember. There's easily half a dozen others varying from odd to outright creeper material that stand out, though not as much as the one I shared above. I figure if it happened to me that frequently, it's absolutely happening to women whom other players know are women MUCH more often. It wasn't just limited to long term encounters, either. Just standing around waiting for something as a female character in the early days of the game sometimes painted me as a potential target.

A friend of mine who also played female characters--and who moonlighted as a stand-up comedian--had similar experiences, but his dialog was absolutely hilarious to watch.