[jcims]

Thanks for sharing this. When you're in the midst of everything it's important to temper the hope of healing with the reality that if that doesn't come you're in a very special, very limited window of time.

>2. People need permission to die. Otherwise they will hang on way longer than they otherwise would.

I wrote about this elsewhere, but my wife on a couple of occasions said 'I think it's time for you to let me go.' I didn't really understand what she meant by that. She was incredibly stoic and was happy to leave the words for me to interpret. I was still so wrapped up in trying to find a way out that I couldn't conceive of just letting go...it felt truly like those scenes in a movie where someone is hanging off of a building and your grip is the only thing keeping them alive. After she passed, her words gained new meaning to me and this was part of it. Permission to go, and permission to talk about the life that comes afterwards. Not figuring this out in time to alleviate some of her pain and let her share her dreams about the future without her is one of my biggest regrets.