[gulato]

I think you're good. The only things I would expand on are:

If you work at a for profit company make sure the "motivation for change" is framed in a way to satisfy the "profit motive" itch somehow. (save time, increase sales, whatever)

Ensure your "proposed solution" is articulated in terms of optimizing the workflow for all users. Try to avoid suggesting things that come down to your personal preferences. Avoid suggesting a specific technological solution. (build this in x because I read on HN ... or ... FAANG company uses x and they're awesome so we should use x)