| Being unable to find a point at which I'm happy with the outcome. I have an uncontrollable fear that what I create is not good enough to share, be it articles or code, while my rational self acknowledges that the quality is more than ok and might help others. I never wrote about basic "How to FP in X language", "Here's a script I wrote over the weekend, it's amazing", "How to git" articles. This limitation I have on myself pisses me off when I read most of the content on medium / dev.to. I see that people are going for cheatsheets / how-to-x-in-10-minutes-but-not-really-understand-what's-going-on content, and I feel that either my content will not be consumed, or it will be discarded as pretentious. Add to this that English is my second language, and other personal insecurities and flaws (vanity - "I need to appear smart to my peers", vanity guilt - "I'm trying to pose as someone else", etc), and you've got a pretty bad recipe. Over the years this has turned into over countless abandoned blogs and side projects. Lately I'm trying to fix this and other issues (not connecting to people, etc) by streaming while I do stuff, but often I don't manage to convince myself to do it. This is very much an emotional problem that I am aware of, and I notice the harmful patterns as the thoughts surface in my mind, but I'm not strong enough to block yet. ^ everything here applies to comments as well |