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by jmeister 2127 days ago
Yet another instance of blaming societal ills on tech, instead of the supposedly freedom/agency loving users.

Read Houellebecq or any dating advice forum, for arguments on how excess choice enabled by apps makes dating less egalitarian and ruins it for the “weaker” section.
2 comments
thhhhrowaway44 2127 days ago
I am not blaming tech - I doubt dating has become harder when everyone got mobile phones -, I am blaming the adtech industry which is well-known for shady practices, dark patterns, and other UX/algorithmic shenanigans designed to maximize engagement on their apps, regardless of whether the app users derive personal happiness from it. It's not controversial, even on HN where half the demographics is on adtech jobs, to remind people that the goal of dating apps is to keep you on them, and if you find a fulfilling relationship, you won't stay on the apps, so they are incentivized to make sure you don't find a fulfilling relationship. Hence the headline: dating has become harder.

As for Houellebecq, his books are mostly about how gen X dudes feel empty inside - the crude prose and extremely plain writing style make for an interesting couple of books but there's very little beyond it. He also somehow makes the argument that men would be somehow less frustrated in places where people have less agency in their dating choices, which is an interesting, if unproved assertion - it would be nice if any citizens of the Islamic Republic of Iran, or Algeria, or Pakistan on HN could chime in and say if they agree with it.

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imtringued 2127 days ago
Your first comment was too short to get your idea across and easy to misinterpret. Now that you have clarified your stance it's much easier to understand your argument.
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aahortwwy 2127 days ago
Blame the users?

Do you think users are more interested in ARPDAU or love/sex?

Tinder-style profile-based match dating (which is basically all dating apps at this point) is bad at getting users love/sex but great at maximizing ARPDAU.

Dating apps which are good at getting users love/sex but have bad ARPDAU struggle to attract investment and either shut down or pivot to user-hostile design to save the business.

Blame the users, sure.

It's not just the "weaker" section who hate the online dating experience, either.

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