Loose project deadlines are driving my anxiety to the wall

[sutemono]

I work in a DevOps consulting firm. I am a part of a team that is working with a client that is a startup riddled with financial problems because of lack of funding since past ~6 months. I have had some form of anxiety since I was a child and I have come to realize it even strongly since I have been working in this field for a past couple of years, mostly with startups. Every week, my manager has a meeting with the CTO of the startup and comes up with these deadlines without consulting me first. We then have discussion around the deadlines. Which goes something like this

Scenario A: When the deadlines are super tight for me, like I will most likely have to work the weekend type, he will message on our internal slack channel tagging the CEO of our company and asking us to work because of reasons like, hey guys this is really important for them, their business is dependent on us etc.,

Scenario B: When I think the deadlines come out of nowhere as in I know just as little about this as the manager. This is a new thing for everyone. He then comes up with this random deadline that sounds quite tight after discussion with the CTO and discusses this with us. He first tries to convince us as to how this isn't as difficult as it looks with factual information and then closes it with something like this "I think this is totally doable".

Scenario C: When there are no deadlines so to speak and everything is chill. He won't bother us.

[bilbopotter]

Terrible management. All he has to do is tell then let me speak to the team and get back to you

[sutemono]

I have brought this up in some form or the other. The response I usually get is something like "hey man, I understand this is stressful for you but their business depends on this" or "this is really important" or some empty promise that things will be easier after this feature is done. I have a feeling (might be wrong) that they want to keep this client because it pays a lot to our company (which is a little absurd to me but assuming a lot for our company isn't too much for them)

[sutemono]

[Continued...]

PROBLEM 1

Scenario A so far has almost always culminated into us delivering what they asked but they did not use it for like until weeks after that and when I brought this up with my manager, he told me he was just as surprised as us. He did not expect that. And sure enough, I think he's a good guy and most probably isn't lying but the problem isn't solved. We still have to deal with the same problem over and over again. It has gotten to the point that my manager and me both kind of know that this might be one of those fake deadlines but the problem is, he always follows his usual process of tagging the CEO and asking us to work extra with a "sorry". I think the apology is genuine but I am just fed up with it at this point. I have days filled with anxiety and I can't get just shut off my work from my thoughts at all unless I am doing something that really engages me but when that engaging thing (say talking to a friend over the phone) ends, it slowly creeps back in again. It has gotten to the point that I fear every day of the week because it might be one of those days when the fake tight deadline would drop and my manager would ask us to work extra and apologize to us in the daily internal meeting but still want us to do it.

PROBLEM 2

Scenario B has been a recurring problem for me because of anxiety. There have been times when Scenario B has gone close to Scenario A because of my own anxiety and overthinking.

I think Problem 1 worsens Problem 2 for me.

Here are the possible options I have thought of so far 1. Ask my manager to switch me to a different project and push for it. One thing I believe will miss in this is the work, which I think is quite interesting if not for issues mentioned above. Also, if I transfer projects there's a chance that another project might turn out similar or even worse if I don't get a choice. Pro for this would be, I might actually get into a project which would offer the same level of interesting problems without unreasonable deadlines for my anxious self.

2. Search for a different job. This is something I have been thinking of on and off for some time now but I like the company I am working at right now. Pros for switching the job might be higher pay and I will probably look for a remote working position which would help me continue working from home even after COVID ends.

3. Consult a Psychologist/Psychotherapist for my anxiety which I am planning to do anyway.

What can I do to solve Problem 1 at least? Any advice, suggestions or alternatives would be really helpful because at this point I am just tired of facing the same anxiety filled day after day to the point it is starting affect my mental health and my behavior towards the people around me.