Is there a website that contains all of this information in one place? Could any founder be expected to know about the 409(a) and 83(b) without a lawyer?
Not sure about the first question, but as to the second: If you are starting a startup, especially for the first time, you absolutely need to get a good startup lawyer. Ours* charged $500/hr and was worth every penny. Saved our asses many times.
* https://www.bierlegal.com/