[watwut]

But like, I also know people who talked about being wronged and then it eventually turned out they really have been wronged. And it took them quite a lot of effort to get made sorta kinda equal - had they been accepting and silent, none of that would happen.

[lopmotr]

If it can be made right, then yea but if not, then it's probably better to imagine you weren't wronged.

I have a personal experience with this. I suffered an injury that caused a permanent disability, but because I was also knocked out, I don't know what caused it. Maybe I was assaulted or maybe I had an accident. Should I feel wronged just in case it turns out to be an assault? No! I'm kind of lucky not knowing whether to blame someone else or myself! Maybe if I knew, that emotion of being wronged would motivate me to fight for justice and the perpetrator could get convicted but I'm comfortable assuming it was an accident. That's a lot better than fighting and losing.

[watwut]

In cases I have in mind, it looked futile until it did not.

In the situation you described, you don't know what happened. So a good guess of your feelings would be confusion, I see no reason to force "feeling lucky" or "blaming yourself" or "feeling wronged" or any other emotion you don't actually feel.

I don't understand this prescribing what people should feel and I think it does more harm then good. People do feel, they also think and the two interacts. It is much more important to understand what your feelings actually are and how they are influencing you, rather then analyse what theoretical person should feel or try to force yourself to feel the things you dont.

[lopmotr]

Though I agree it's not helpful to force your feelings directly. I do think that there are things we "should" feel and those are the things that give better outcomes to us. Sometimes emotions are telling us something true and important but are also harming our wellbeing and we'd be better off without them. If we're lucky enough to lack some harmful knowledge, then all the better.